Comics. I buy ‘em. I read ‘em. And then I forget ‘em. Not always. But often enough that I wonder whether it’s all worth it. Lord knows not every book is a classic. When each weekly book is as good as Watchmen, say, I’ll expect us all to be wearing harps and halos (if you know what I mean). I’m always thinking about cutting back, except…except reading the weeklies (as opposed to trade-waiting, ferinstance) is like watching a soap opera. You get hooked on the “what happens next” aspect. And for those of you who think soap operas are, shall we say, swishy–well, you better stop watching Lost before you start to sashay, my friend. We all like high-quality episodic material. But most comics (and TV shows, etc.) aren’t that. I watch Lost, but I don’t watch Passions. I try to weed out the duds and concentrate on the good stuff. But do I do the same with comics?

Well, looking at last week’s pile, I’m thinking the answer is: “Not so much.” I bought eight individual issues at an average price of $2.99 a piece (not counting my discount, mind you). Of those eight, how many would I read again? How many do I even remember? It’s only been a week since I read ‘em…surely, if they were worth buying, they would stick in my brain at least that long, right? Right?

Wrong. Of the eight, half I’d read again: Amazing Spider-Man, New Avengers, Fantastic Four, and Ultimate Iron Man II. But of those four, I remember nary a panel. Maybe a couple of plot points here and there, but my overall impressions are hazy. Which maybe says more about me and my memory loss. But it could also be an indication that some of these books aren’t all that essential. With the possible exception of New Avengers, I’m not sure I see myself buying the trade for any of these once they’re collected. Even though I liked reading them. But they weren’t…lasting.

The other four books I bought (Wolverine, Captain Marvel, X-Force, The Chemist) had moments that were good for the soap opera factor–they advanced an overall plot I’m interested in, maybe, like the Skrulls seen in Captain Marvel. But if I hadn’t read any of these, I don’t think I’d be missing much.

What a pessimist, you must be thinking. Or maybe you’ve stopped reading this altogether. Either way, the day may soon come when I only buy essential trades and knock off the weeklies entirely. I could see that going down. I’ll always love words and pictures. But a man has to have standards.

And with that, let’s take a look at next week’s books–or at least what I’ll buy if I don’t swear off the whole enterprise before Wednesday.

Amazing Spider-Man #551…last week was alright, but I feel this one descending into mediocrity. Might not care for long.

Hulk #2…maybe I’ll just read this at work. Hulk never really matters…even during World War Hulk, which just kind of petered out. Oh, well. I’m pretty over this already.

Mighty Avengers #9…now this is a book I actually like. The whole team is on its way to confront Doom in Latveria for dropping the Venom virus on the city of New York. Good stuff. Bendis…

Ultimate Human #2 pits Ultimate Hulk and Ultimate Iron Man against each other, and since I like the Ultimate Universe I’ll probably buy this. The first issue was OK. I hope Warren Ellis is headed somewhere interesting with this.

Ultimates 3 #3...so far so good, but not so great. Doesn’t compare to the first two Ultimates sagas. But different isn’t always bad…is it?
Sigh…

Well, as the great Porky Pig once said, that’s all, folks. I gotta go make some hard decisions. And so do you. So do you. Until next week…read ‘em and weep.

Bagged and boarded,

Gabe