Hulk was lame. I agree with Steb. Reviews on the other books to follow in a separate post. But I will say that Captain America really has been one ongoing story for the last 35 issues, and it really rewards going back and reading them in order. This will go down as one of the great comic epics of our time. You’ll see. And I was never a Cap fan sither…seemed corny. But now it’s on some twisting, turning espionage shit, and it has a ton of parallels to our current political situation (oil crisis, mortgage crisis, security-for-hire world policemen, it’s all in there and more). Read the trades.
As far as “who could beat who” battles, Richie, I will gladly engage in those any day. As long as you realize that Batman is just a guy. So if you try to put him up against any heavy hitters, well…Bruce’ll get his back broke. Again. He might be able to beat, like, Aquaman. On land. I’d like to see Bats versus Frank Castle. That’d be about right. But don’t try to set up a match against someone like Superman. You’ll get laughed out of the shop.

Left by Grip Grand on February 29th, 2008

When you say Batman kicked Superman’s ass, you don’t mean in Dark Knight Returns, right? Because that is NOT part of the official canon…your nerd license is temporarily revoked. Not that you ever had one. Dudes who only like Wolverine and Batman are not really comic fans.

Dark Knight Returns is like an Elseworlds or What If story. In other words, it doesn’t count. I could write a story where Batman beats up Fire-Breathing Jesus, but that doesn’t make it real. Wait, none of this is real…damn!

At any rate, not only was the fix in on that Dark Knight fight — after all, Batman threw the outcome by faking his own death at the end — but Superman wasn’t really at his best, having recently been hit by a nuclear bomb blast. Since Superman and Batman both lived in the end — and Superman’s wink at Bruce Wayne’s funeral would indicate that he hears the underground heartbeat and knows Bats faked his demise — I’d say you’ve got, at best, a draw.

Sometimes, Superman LETS other people win, because he’s such a nice guy. But no one can really beat him at anything. Every time he races the Flash, it’s basically a tie, or they both have to stop running and save the world or some shit. Superman once fought a boxing match against Muhammad Ali, and the Champ actually won. But that fight was handicapped…the planet it took place on had a red sun. Also, no disrespect to the Greatest of All Time, but I think Big Blue took it easy on him.

If Batman beats Superman, that means he basically beats everyone else, too. But he doesn’t. He couldn’t. He can’t. Fans like to think of Batman that way, though, like, “What makes him so cool is that he’s just a regular guy, but also, for some reason, he can beat up SUPERMAN! Just ‘cuz he really REALLY wants to!! And he’s so resourceful!” No. Sorry. That may make your boy MacGyver in a cape, but in a non-handicapped fight, Superman wins hands down. He could fly Batman into the Sun before the opening bell stops ringing. Now Superman versus Thor or Silver Surfer or something, maybe…but Batman’s arms are too short to box with God. The only way Batman could win is by not showing up. Son.

Sidebar…don’t dismiss the Punisher so quickly. I think he and Batman stalking each other from afar would lead to an interesting “fight”…aren’t they both gonna just try to snipe the other guy, anyway? But, like I said, that IS a fight Bats would win. Unlike a fight against, say, Superman, for example.

There you go, Rich. Is this the type of argument you were looking for?

Love,
Yoda

Left by Grip Grand on February 29th, 2008