Here’s the deal. Over the next month I will be profiling the various couches I sleep on. Why you ask? Well I feel like it’s important to know your friends. The Couch Tour 2008 will be an adventure; one of mystery, joy, shock and disgust. I’ve begun the trail runs in preperation and so far I’ve been amazed at what I’ve learned about my friends. So be ready..be prepared. I may show up and pull the friend card on you and sleep on your couch. Check out my rating system after the jump.

I will be rating my stays on the following criteria:

1. Cleanliness and comfort of couch - I will be prepared with sheets and blankets. The more I have to layer.. the worse your couch rating…any wayward springs or pieces of lumber jetting out the cushions or frame will result in me sleeping on the floor.

2. Ammenities - Do you have a TV near said couch? If so, cable? Direct TV? The more options the higher rating.

3. Cleanliness of Bathroom - I will be sleeping there.. why wouldn’t I want to wash my ass there too? I’m a real stickler for this too.

4. Extras - Like do you offer me food, drink, a hand job? Whatcha got and can I get some?

So that’s it. If I call you… I’m probably outside your door. Lurked.

Posted by No Wonder on Friday, July 25th, 2008 at 3:48 pm.