Here’s the deal. Over the next month I will be profiling the various couches I sleep on. Why you ask? Well I feel like it’s important to know your friends. The Couch Tour 2008 will be an adventure; one of mystery, joy, shock and disgust. I’ve begun the trail runs in preperation and so far I’ve been amazed at what I’ve learned about my friends. So be ready..be prepared. I may show up and pull the friend card on you and sleep on your couch. Check out my rating system after the jump.

I will be rating my stays on the following criteria:

1. Cleanliness and comfort of couch - I will be prepared with sheets and blankets. The more I have to layer.. the worse your couch rating…any wayward springs or pieces of lumber jetting out the cushions or frame will result in me sleeping on the floor.

2. Ammenities - Do you have a TV near said couch? If so, cable? Direct TV? The more options the higher rating.

3. Cleanliness of Bathroom - I will be sleeping there.. why wouldn’t I want to wash my ass there too? I’m a real stickler for this too.

4. Extras - Like do you offer me food, drink, a hand job? Whatcha got and can I get some?

So that’s it. If I call you… I’m probably outside your door. Lurked.

5 Responses to “No Wonder In: The Couch Tour 2008”

HAhahaha, the lack of comma after drink….turns it into drink a hand job.

Fixed.. remember kids don’t drink hand jobs!

i’ve got a mildly comfortable futon, but the extras make the BB Motel quite a nice stay. awaiting the call.

you got some toothpaste? cause i be wantin a whole lot of toothpaste.

just cracked open a brand new tube of toothpaste. Oh and Haji we still have your toothbrush here… laced

Something to say?