Well, Holidays, you’ve done it again. You screwed up the shipping schedule, and now my comicky books won’t be out ’til Thursday. Drat. But you know what? It’s cool. Last week’s load of garbage is still stinking up my house, so one more day won’t hurt me. Not the Spider-Man comic One More Day, that shit did hurt me. I mean one more day waiting for what will surely be, if last week’s bulging batch is any indicator, another mediocre stack of crap. I liked a couple of things from last Wednesday’s racks, but mostly it was a miss. Sorry, Marvel. You blew it. And now my pull list is gonna feel the repercussions as I cross off titles I used to love, like Thunderbolts. And Daredevil. Daredevil! I’m tired of books that are just OK. I want my jaw dropped on a regular basis. Anything else isn’t worth my time. You know what also isn’t worth my time? Comic books about what would happen if all the superheroes were made into monkeys. MONKEYS!!! What am I, eight?!? Fuck that shit. All this month, the House of Ideas is milking their Marvel Apes series with crossover covers and other ridiculous promotions. Sure, it gave me the opportunity to post the above picture of the Punisher as a primate. But besides that, I don’t see the silver lining. Apes ain’t zombies. I don’t care to see a month’s worth of flung-feces jokes and colorfully-rendered baboon-ass. Anyhoo, let’s get a look at this list.

First up, the DCU makes an increasingly rare appearance on my pull-sheet with Secret Six #1. The original Secret Six miniseries spun out of Infinite Crisis, and it was one of my favorite threads in that convoluted yarn. Who doesn’t love a re-envisioned Catman? I gotta stop asking these rhetorical questions…

Also DC-related is Vertigo’s House of Mystery #5. This Bill Willingham book is good, but it has yet to provide any significant payoff, and it looks like this first arc may never get down to business. All mood, no plot. I like to see my characters move forward through a story, so we’ll see how this one pans out in the end. Fingers crossed, people.

Invincible Iron Man #5? I don’t even remember what happened in #4. Maybe it’s a sign that this book is no longer worthy. Besides, Iron Man is as bad as Wolverine these days. He’s everywhere at once. Secret Invasion tells us he may even be a Skrull! So what the fuck is he doing prancing around his own title like he never even heard there’s a war on? I’m confused.

Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #2…well, I did read the first issue of this, because Terry Moore had taken over the writing desk. I liked it OK, much more than his recent efforts on Runaways. Yuck (and I love Runaways). I can’t say I’ll buy this for sure. But anything is possible.

Uh…I guess that’s it. What a lousy week. If Secret Six is the thing I’m most looking forward to at the comic shop, maybe I should just stop buying these things altogether. Jeez Louise. Maybe I should take the dough I was gonna drop on this lame-ery and send it to an orphanage. Or spend it on salvia. Just kidding, I never even tried that stuff. Now go read a real book, you jerk. Until next week…

Bagged and boarded,

Grip

Posted by Grip Grand on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm.