I’ve been to the movies five times in the last two weeks. Apparently I don’t like the outdoors.  Check out what I’m wasting my life doing!!!

Let the Right One In (2008)

Dir. Tomas Alfredson

Starring: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson

I was gonna love this movie no matter what; it was in my top 10 of the year going into it, so yeah.  It has everything going for it: creepy Swede’s, vampire children, snow, subtitles (so you know it’s smart!), and Guillermo Del Toro called it one of the best movies he’s seen in years… yes please!  I was surprised, however, that this was no bloody vampire flick at all, but rather a unique, coming-of-age, first love, picked-on kid fights back picture.  Sure, there’s blood, but the vampire thing is more of an added bonus than the main focus.  The story begins with Oskar, a scrawny 12-year-old kid being picked on by school bullies.  It becomes obvious that the poor bastard has no friends, is bummed out by his mom, and who’s dad is an alcoholic (not like us, rather the neglectful-when-he’s-drunk kind).  He spends his time practicing killing the mean kids on a tree in the courtyard of the projects he lives in… until Eli moves in next door.  They become fast friends and soon they realize they are the only one each other has.  Oh yeah, Eli is a vampire!  She(?) be killin’ people and drinkin’ they blood, son!  Like I said before, though, the movie isn’t really about that.  Sure it provides interesting situations and moves the story along, but it’s really about the relationship between the two kids.  Weird that a Swedish vampire movie involving pre-teens could be regarded as romantic, but that’s what it is… and, as I predicted, one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

4 out of 4

Zack And Miri Make A Porno (2008)

Dir. Kevin Smith

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Seth Rogan, Jason Mewes, Traci Lords, Katie Morgan, Jeff Anderson

I really like Kevin Smith movies.  Even Jersey Girl made me laugh.  But it kind of seemed like he phoned it in on this one.  Usually his shit, dick, pussy, and fart jokes are clever and well thought out, but they seemed forced or not fully realized in this picture.  I don’t know, I guess I’m just getting older.  I just tend to prefer my queef jokes with an edge.  The high school reunion scene is REALLY funny though, and it’s a good 10-15 minutes of the flick, so for that alone I guess I can recommend this one… on DVD that is.

2 out of 4

Role Models (2008)

Dir. David Wain

Starring: Seann William Scott, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bobb’e J. Thompson, Elizabeth Banks, Jane Lynch

So I don’t really smoke the reefer, but for whatever reason I thought it would be a good idea before this one.  Isn’t weed supposed to make you laugh at stupid shit?  Well, only a couple chuckles in this one, unfortunately.  I wanted a lot more from it.  I love most everything David Wain and Paul Rudd are associated with – STELLA anyone?  That show was great!  Anyway, two assholes who pitch a Redbull-esque energy drink for a living fuck up and need to do community service or go to jail for 30 days.  They end up joining the Big Brother program and get two kids in need to mentor.  The kids are best part of this one, but not because they’re saying bad words or talking about titties the whole time, but because their character are actually really well written and original.  The scenes with the head of the program, played by Jane Lynch, bring the whole movie to a goddamn standstill though, and there are a lot of ‘em.  Hopefully when it comes out on DVD, and i give it another chance, I won’t be so doped up the dopey jokes come with the funny.

2 out of 4

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Dir. Marc Forster

Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Jeffrey Wright, Gemma Arterton, Mathieu Amalric, Judi Dench

This is NOT a Bond film… this is a Jason Bourne film!  Which is AWESOME, by the way!  Remember when you first played Grand Theft Auto and then when you went out into the real world you wanted to kill everyone and steal cars and spray paint shit?  This movie makes you wanna throw old ladies through plate-glass windows!  Non-stop, and I mean non-fucking-stop, action.  Car chases, boat chases, airplane chases, broken glass everyfuckingwhere, its awesome.  As far as the Bond shit though, nope.  The “Bond Girl” (the one on the right, above) is in it long enough for Bond to fuck her but that’s it, the theme song by Jack White and Alicia Keys sucks balls, NO GADGETS (!!!), and the plot is so confusing you may as well not bother.  Plus, it’s the first Bond sequel… it picks up where Casino Royale left off, which has never happened before.  The other Bond girl (the one on the left), however, is a fucking bad-ass and is much hotter, so it’s got that going for it.  She’s one tough cookie.  Best of all, the movie doesn’t overstay its welcome.  It’s 1 hour 40 minutes of wild shit, and then see-ya later.  I’m fully down with Daniel Craig as Bond, too… kicking ass.  It’s just not a Bond movie, even though it says it is.  Whatever, go see it.

3.5 out of 4

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Dir. Danny Boyle

Starring: Dev Patel, Freida Pinto

Another one that’s going to be in my top 10 of the year.  This is one of those movies that slowly but surely is going to get more and more popular through word of mouth and in about a month is going to be huge… you heard it here first.  It takes place in India, where these three slum kids, orphaned and forced to bring themselves up, struggle to survive.  Jamal and his older brother Salim befriend Latika, and Jamal falls for her.  They’re separated, of course, and years later Jamal still thinks of her.  Through various circumstances he lands on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, the country’s most popular show, hoping that she’ll be watching.  With one question left for the big prize, they break for the day and Jamal is nabbed by the police, beaten, and accused of cheating… How could a slum kid with no education know the answers when doctors and lawyers and teachers can’t get halfway through the show?  The film goes back and forth in time telling Jamal, Salim, and Latika’s story and the coincidences that occur that allows him to advance in the game.  As feel good as it gets, expect this to be up for a ton of awards.  Good date movie too.

4 out of 4