GRIP GRAND EPIC T-SHIRT FAIL!

So, you know how some things look better on paper? Well, the new Grip Grand shirts are back from the printers. The good news is, these shirts are guaranteed to make people stop and stare in the street! The bad news is, they’ll be staring at your crotch.

See, there’ve been some alterations to the design. As it turns out, the printer I hired couldn’t silkscreen the design at its original width, so he had to move the hands a few inches closer together. And what do you get when you move the hands a few inches closer together? You get the outline of a not-insubstantial phallus, one which is clearly about to be punched. Hard. By a big red monster. Hmmmm…maybe I should have thought this whole thing through a little better (see illustration below).

Seriously?

Anyway, I’m not blaming the eminent unwearability of these shirts on the printer–the hands would’ve looked weird creeping out of your waistband, even if they were a few inches farther apart. And I’m not blaming the designer, because the shirts looked great on paper. I blame only myself. Next time I’ll prototype my products before I get ‘em manufactured.

So what does all this mean for you? If you were one of the kind souls hoping to have your hands on a Grip Grand shirt in the near future, you may be changing your mind right about now. I couldn’t even get a real person to put one on, hence the mock-up you see above. Sure, these shirts are perfect for people who like to be asked “Is there a monster in your pants?” ten times a day, as well as for fans of collectible errors/misprints, Marvel Comic’s Red Hulk, and/or aggressive ball-punchery. But I’m not certain I want my name to be associated with any of these things (the Grip Grand logo is on the back, small and tidy just below the collar), so I’m still on the fence about selling them. Hell, I’m on the fence about giving them away. The best suggestion I’ve had so far is that I should donate them to the homeless, thereby creating the ultimate Brokeland street team. The ethical implications of this option are still being weighed.

OK, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Let me know your thoughts on how I should go about getting an ass-load of failed t-shirts off my hands. Ideally I’d make back what I spent on ‘em, but you’d have to be a pretty avid Grip supporter to sink your hard-earned funds into these (admittedly rare and hard-to-find) groin-grapplers. On the other hand, maybe you want to look like a walking psych-evaluation. In which case, have I got the shirt for you!

Until next time, I’ll be awaiting your advice.

Happy New Year,

Grip Grand

PS–If you really wanna buy one of these things, let your voice be heard…I’ll find a way to make it happen. But consider yourself warned.