The Spank Den has tons of ice cream and sneakers.

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Mes is ruullll good. Watch it in HQ.. I couldn’t figure that coding ish out.

Here’s the deal. Over the next month I will be profiling the various couches I sleep on. Why you ask? Well I feel like it’s important to know your friends. The Couch Tour 2008 will be an adventure; one of mystery, joy, shock and disgust. I’ve begun the trail runs in preperation and so far I’ve been amazed at what I’ve learned about my friends. So be ready..be prepared. I may show up and pull the friend card on you and sleep on your couch. Check out my rating system after the jump.

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So Rob said I had to contribute to this site or else I would never get my Rec-League chain. I’m working real hard over here to get that shit so here goes. I have stories to tell friends, stories of triumph and loss..of Doug E. Fresh and hot sauce. However rather than bore you with my life and all my shittiness I thought I’d preempt all that and give you some music to listen to for free…

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Remember when I used to blog.. Oh hilarity! Those were the days. Well, guess who’s back like you all give a ish?..That’s right The Chic-O-Stick is firm and keeping it’s pimp hand strong. Lots of albums released since last we met. Notably, Portishead finally released their long awaited third album, Gnarls under whelmed us with the Odd Couple and Atmosphere continued their move toward becoming the M Night Shamalan of indie Hip Hop..surprise twist.

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So I got into this whole thing with one of the opening acts at this weekends Too $hort show regarding the whole idea of “Pay to Play”. Those of you unfamiliar with the terminology I’ll break it down real quick. Bands/Acts get a set amount of tickets to sell.. they sell em’ and turn in the money for the tickets sold. Some promoters give the bands excess tickets to work with so they can make profits. I use quotes around pay to play because pay to play only exists for acts with no draw..meaning, nobody gives a shit about your group or your fucking shit ass music! I mean really, if you and your band can’t get 30 people out to a show…you should probably quit. (more…)

I got nothin’ this week. It has been uneventful and pretty lame to this point. So I asked a friend what I should write about and he responds with “fake boobies and ass implants”. Well, the boobies didn’t interest me..but ass implants..now that’s something I could dig my teeth into. Let us start with the basics. The procedure is referred to as Gluteal Augmentation or, Buttocks Magnification but for the sake of this audience I will refer to them as Ass Implants… sounds cooler and I would like to see how many times I can use “ass” in less than 500 words.

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Quick… Someone make up some new holidays! I need something to look forward to here at the office. On the bright side of things I have Grip to thank for my recent trips to Golden Apple Comics and the unearthing of my old collection (I’m sure my wife thanks you too). But now that I’ve started reading them again I am hell bent on finishing them and I’m missing issues! Critters was 50 issues and I have like 20. All bad… Something else to obsess about.
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Fuckin’ writers strike sucks ass! Will we be stuck watching Terminator..Sara Connors Chronicles all winter? We now know this means I’m gonna have to do something productive and beneficial to my livelihood aside from eating couch snacks. Maybe I’ll go out and see the new Rambo movie..that’d be adventurous. Get all hopped up on sugared candy and cheer really loud for old man Stallone as he miraculously dumps three 100 round clips into 20 or so bad men also firing semi automatic weapons at him but mysteriously missing. What bad shots! Maybe he’ll get all bloody and have some sort of close up where he’s all beaten down and fire off some witty line and I’ll cheer like Jesus just walked in the room and offered me eternal life.

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All kinds of crazy my friends. All kinds. Where to start..well. Happy New Year and shit..

1. Arizona. A month ago RC and I packed up the ride and headed east to unusually freezing cold AZ…. glass cutting nipples cold. Our good friend and fellow HBH’er Pickster was celebrating his birthday and as any other superbadass DJ should, by debuting his sweet ass new project Crusher Sound System. We stayed a couple days soaking in the scene fueled by booze and some good ol medicinal herbert…along with a few handfuls of our good friend Valium. The weekend went over in spectacular fashion and we packed back up to head back to Cali. (more…)