The Spank Den has tons of ice cream and sneakers.

So here’s my recording facility I never use.

Blue Bluebird Mic

A drummy pad thing

A Keyboard thingy

Decks & Mixer/ Serato

Compressor and Pre

Shiny computer

Shiny soundcard

Yamaha speakers

And a big booty white girl mug purchased at the 99cent store

Various hard drives

Tranzport

Big ol screen

Mes is ruullll good. Watch it in HQ.. I couldn’t figure that coding ish out.

Here’s the deal. Over the next month I will be profiling the various couches I sleep on. Why you ask? Well I feel like it’s important to know your friends. The Couch Tour 2008 will be an adventure; one of mystery, joy, shock and disgust. I’ve begun the trail runs in preperation and so far I’ve been amazed at what I’ve learned about my friends. So be ready..be prepared. I may show up and pull the friend card on you and sleep on your couch. Check out my rating system after the jump.

I will be rating my stays on the following criteria:

1. Cleanliness and comfort of couch – I will be prepared with sheets and blankets. The more I have to layer.. the worse your couch rating…any wayward springs or pieces of lumber jetting out the cushions or frame will result in me sleeping on the floor.

2. Ammenities – Do you have a TV near said couch? If so, cable? Direct TV? The more options the higher rating.

3. Cleanliness of Bathroom – I will be sleeping there.. why wouldn’t I want to wash my ass there too? I’m a real stickler for this too.

4. Extras – Like do you offer me food, drink, a hand job? Whatcha got and can I get some?

So that’s it. If I call you… I’m probably outside your door. Lurked.

So Rob said I had to contribute to this site or else I would never get my Rec-League chain. I’m working real hard over here to get that shit so here goes. I have stories to tell friends, stories of triumph and loss..of Doug E. Fresh and hot sauce. However rather than bore you with my life and all my shittiness I thought I’d preempt all that and give you some music to listen to for free…

In life we all want to get our sexy time on. This song seems like one of those songs that you’d slow dick your lady to.. I wouldn’t know because I’m practicing celibacy until I finish my album.

Yes I Do

Ok second song… If you don’t like Camp Lo you either lack taste or your a racist! Period….no.. Shut up. Don’t say it. If you don’t like the Lowa then hell with you I don’t want to know you. You’re dead to me. Digidigiknow?

DigiKnow

As usual, if you like it, buy it.

P.S. I just got my first royalty check…but it’s made out to my publishing company so I can’t cash it..

Remember when I used to blog.. Oh hilarity! Those were the days. Well, guess who’s back like you all give a ish?..That’s right The Chic-O-Stick is firm and keeping it’s pimp hand strong. Lots of albums released since last we met. Notably, Portishead finally released their long awaited third album, Gnarls under whelmed us with the Odd Couple and Atmosphere continued their move toward becoming the M Night Shamalan of indie Hip Hop..surprise twist.

In the past I’ve tried to find a mix of classic material with something I find either interesting or felt was on the cusp/ cutting edge, “look at me I’m so eclectic”. But, that’s just…gay and it’s what every blog does and we’re not every blog.. This is Routine Fly. So here’s the deal, I will only give you music I like and I actually listen to.. I mean beside Rec-League shit..

I don’t know if you all were up on the whole Seven Heads crew that came to be sometime at the turn of the millennium. But they churned out some mighty fine music. J-Live, Geology, Sound Providers, 88 Keys, Richie Pitch, El Da Sensei and our subjects today; Asheru & Blue Black or The Unspoken Heard. I first caught wind of these guys in 1998 when I picked up a 12 inch at Rasputin’s in Campbell. I bought it because I liked the cover (does anyone still do that?).. It had some comic book, Atari art hybrid thing going on. Went home, played it and I just remember thinking that I had found gold. Better b/w Smiley. It’s always a good sign when you put the B-Side on first and it’s so good you don’t even realize your an idiot and can’t figure out the basics of sequential order. So I’m gonna give it to you like I did..

THE UNSPOKEN HEARD

Smiley

Better

The next track.. I don’t know if it will ever get old for me. Well over a decade old, crude and pretty misogynistic. It still gets a smile out of me and the beat…shit man it’s the Beatnuts at their finest. That baseline is ridiculous..when Les drops that “Da Doom Doom, Do Doom”. And who could hate on one of Grand Puba’s classic lines ” Oops! I didn’t mean to call you ho, bitch / But when you try to clock the pocket that’s that bullshit!” If you don’t have or have owned Street Level… I pity you pathetic existence. But Fear not … You can still grab a copy.

THE BEATNUTS

Are You Ready

That’s all for now. Enjoy and have a good weekend. Bump these..and if you dig it, buy it.

-Boss Steb

P.S. I’d insert images but wordpress is buggin’

UPDATE:
I put the images in
-RR

This is what allot of groups don’t understand about promoters. 1. We pay for the headliner, their hotels, transportation and rider. 2. We pay for the venue, rent, bar guarantees and staff 3. We are solely responsible for the loss if the show does poorly at the box office 4. We pay for promo, flyers, ads and radio spots. We don’t want shitty shows.. or shitty opening bands. But it’s sometimes unavoidable. With home studios and the advent of auto-tune aka Studio Magic a shitty live act can sound great on a CD and ass on stage. On a personal note I hate the idea of high presale tickets but if I ask a group to sell 30 tickets with a month to do so and you get to be direct support for fuckin Too $hort on a Friday night in the Bay! You better fucking move those tickets bud because it ain’t that hard. How do I know this? I had to do it for nearly 2 years in L.A. Where I had 5 existing homies and my wife! I went out there and sold the shows..contacted ticket brokers, built relationships, put flyers in windshields, stuck comp tickets in L.A. Weekly’s and stood out side of shows I should have been watching handing out flyers and selling motherfuckin tickets! Why? Because I earn my shit.. nobody came to me saying we’ll give you x amount of dollars to play with so and so.. this market is far too competitive. It’s built on relationships and hustle. Something allot of these bitch ass rappers don’t know shit about. Because now, now I’m golden. I can walk into just about any venue, any night no matter who’s playing and check the scene. I can call almost any booker in this town and book my group..because I built the relationships. Because we killed it when we got our one chance and because we’re respectful and everyone from bar staff to the door guy knows us by name. It sickens me when I hear groups crying about having to put work in. As if just making the music was enough to warrant a windfall of success and money. Sorry honey bunches but shit don’t work that way. Now there are always going to be exceptions.. but no act has ever just popped up and gone far without at the very least, building key relationships…that’s my rant. Have a great week.

Here’s some music. Two of my favorite verses one from Pharoahe Monch and the other from the Bay’s own Lateef the Truth Speaker.

CLICK TO HEAR

Po’s verse is no slouch either but, how are you gonna come off after Monch destroys like that?!

CLICK TO HEAR

Both verses on this song are equally impressive for different reasons.. I can’t call it. Have a great week and please feel free to dicuss any of the above with me.. I hope ya’ll do.

-Steb

Many of you are probably wondering “who would get an ass implant?” Well, some people are flat out lazy and in being so lazy never do the work necessary to properly shape and build the ass. Others are not so fortunate… some have serious ass deformities causing depression and self esteem issues. These people need their ass implants to make them complete and they get the green light from me to have this horrific procedure done. The surgery, if you call it that, is a fairly simple procedure. It involves cutting 3 in incisions at the midline and digging out a space to slide the meaty goods into the ass region. The patient is then stitched up and sent on their way to cope with a painful recovery period. Some of the side effects most commonly experienced are bacterial infections, nerve and muscle damage, bleeding, slippage and asymmetry. So you’re gonna pay thousands of dollars for an ass that may be even more fucked than the one your momma gave you! Sweet… I hope this was informative and that you all got something out of it.

On to the music! I’m going off the grid this week and going with the new Gnarls Barkley track “Run”. I’m not sure about it yet but I figured you all can listen to it and give me your opinions..you know so I can form my own. Who knows it may not even be on the album but whatever right?

CLICK TO HEAR

Next batter up? Again I dip into the way back machine for this one… Anotha Level was one of those west coast kid groups around the time Pharcyde and the Wascals came along. What’s that Cha Say was the only song I remember from the album but in rediscovering it I will listen to it in it’s entirety and report my findings. Could be one of those gems like the first Yaggfu Front record or Ya’ll So Stupids “Van Full of Pakistanis”

CLICK TO HERE

Ok..have fun, be safe and shit.

Quick… Someone make up some new holidays! I need something to look forward to here at the office. On the bright side of things I have Grip to thank for my recent trips to Golden Apple Comics and the unearthing of my old collection (I’m sure my wife thanks you too). But now that I’ve started reading them again I am hell bent on finishing them and I’m missing issues! Critters was 50 issues and I have like 20. All bad… Something else to obsess about.

On the reality TV front, I got to watch The Biggest Loser Couples last night for the first and, most likely last, time. Nothing says entertainment like sweaty fat people engaged in vigorous exercise! While I commend anyone brave enough to go through the work necessary to shed a whole person in body fat.. I don’t feel that this needs to be documented and or placed on prime time TV. But I will say it was kinda nice to eat a pint of ice cream from my couch while watching obese people doing Kung Fu..shit was hilarious…dude was feeling it!

Anyway..music: I was torn this week. I was flippin through the ol collection over the weekend and came across some goodies that I had forgot about and most folks that I send this out to never even heard of.

First up is Natural Resource. This is the group that gave us What?What?..now Jean Grae but she’s grossly underutilized on this track contributing only some backup vocals. I played this almost daily for a while back in the late 90’s and I think I’ll start playing this again now that I’ve rediscovered it.

This next track was my JAM! I love the vibe and it was a must spin at house parties. I think I’ll throw it back into the set and see what happens. Milkbone got a little fame when he was the “other” white rapper on Aftermath. That was well after this little single was released… on the vinyl it actually says Feat. Biggie Smalls. Ha! Where’s the party at?!

That’s all for now.. Enjoy and shit.

P.S. Glade Air Infusions..Apple Cinnamon is effective cover up for McDonalds breakfast dumps.

Fuckin’ writers strike sucks ass! Will we be stuck watching Terminator..Sara Connors Chronicles all winter? We now know this means I’m gonna have to do something productive and beneficial to my livelihood aside from eating couch snacks. Maybe I’ll go out and see the new Rambo movie..that’d be adventurous. Get all hopped up on sugared candy and cheer really loud for old man Stallone as he miraculously dumps three 100 round clips into 20 or so bad men also firing semi automatic weapons at him but mysteriously missing. What bad shots! Maybe he’ll get all bloody and have some sort of close up where he’s all beaten down and fire off some witty line and I’ll cheer like Jesus just walked in the room and offered me eternal life.

Perhaps I’ll go out…like to a bar or something and stop being such a turd of a shut in. Maybe I’ll go to some trendy bar/nightclub and high five a bunch of douche bags wearing $300 jeans and talking about their model friends who are working on the new Ed Hardy campaign! Oh that’s be sweet as shit.. I can buy all these expensive drinks and wear shirts I have no business fitting into. “Dex, that joke was awesome..man we should do some coke bro!” But seriously, high fives should be reserved for people you love and trust..ONLY! Maybe I’ll go to the studio and write that one song that everyone tries so damn hard to write, I’ll hire some sweet ass band and a platinum producer/engineer….but nah. I’m far to concerned with TK and Rachels’ plight on this weeks “Very Special” Amazing Race 12. Oh and did you catch Celebrity Apprentice…hoooo shit! Neither did I…cause reality TV is bad. It’s bad and shitty. So get off your ass and stop being a shitbag and do something with your life.

Music time: Don’t know if you all are tired of the American Gangster remixes but, I sure am..well I was until I came across this gem. I relly dig the production on this. Hope you like.

CLICK THE PIC

And from the way back.. a favorite of mine De La Soul Ego Trippin’ PART THREE. This single was a favorite of mine. It had the instrumentals for Part Two and Three, “Lovely how I let my mind float” with the Biz… and some Part Two remixes. It also included the version of Ego Trippin’ Part Two with out the screams! Thanks for the email No..

CLICK THE PIC

That’s all for now. Have a great week and shit.

All kinds of crazy my friends. All kinds. Where to start..well. Happy New Year and shit..

1. Arizona. A month ago RC and I packed up the ride and headed east to unusually freezing cold AZ…. glass cutting nipples cold. Our good friend and fellow HBH’er Pickster was celebrating his birthday and as any other superbadass DJ should, by debuting his sweet ass new project Crusher Sound System. We stayed a couple days soaking in the scene fueled by booze and some good ol medicinal herbert…along with a few handfuls of our good friend Valium. The weekend went over in spectacular fashion and we packed back up to head back to Cali.

Nearly going a buck twenty I was cruisin with my newly acquired monster mash disc when it sadly reached the end. I looked down momentarily to search for some music laying about when BAM! Fuckin huta! I hit the brakes with enough pressure to quickly slow but not enough to look panicked..nonetheless it was too late. I played it cool, slowed down switched lanes but alas, flashing lights. Now normally, I wouldn’t use race as an excuse and I won’t site it in this instance either. However, lets take a look at the picture as a whole. A 200 plus pound, brown man covered in tattoos speeding along in a $40,000 car (thanks wifey)..well that might raise a flag to some. I knew it from the second officer T.J. Skoudr popped his head in the window, this was a bout to become the suck. On some straight matter of fact shit I handed over all pertinent info. …and so the dance begins. He went back to his cruiser, got on the radio and called us in. He returned before he could have gotten a lock on my criminal record and that’s kinda when I could feel shits creek was about to run thru the car and I was certain to be up it. He asked me to step out of the vehicle, when he pulled me over he asked me how much marijuan was in the car. Now normally I’d just whip out my medicinal mary jane RX but in AZ all bets are off. I tried the ol’ “what do you mean officer” thing and that didn’t work. He gave me the following options. Call a K-9 unit and wait for them or just fess up. Figuring I wouldn’t be a pain I told him what and where he could find my LESS THAN 2 GRAMS of weed! I then , along with RC, got cuffed and thrown in the cop car. Yippie! I try to be compliant and this shit.. So I got to sit and watch as this bastard proceeds to take my car a part for an hour plus! Slowly and very methodically. I hate being cuffed and I really hate being cuffed in the back of a car for over an hour. First he let’s RC out and send him back to the car. He then gives me a sobriety test (passed with flying colors), a sweet ticket for speeding..criminal speeding, and a sweet ass citation for possession of narcotics! Weed is a narcotic in AZ?! Great job. So now I got a court date and some excellent fines to look forward to in lew of community service. So in honor of this momentous event I present you an all time favorite of mine from Public Enemy.

BY THE TIME I GET TO ARIZONA

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