Grip Grand — D.O.A.

Now in digi-stores near you!!

New 5-song digital single includes:

1. Grip Grand — D.O.A. (Dirty)

2. Grip Grand — D.O.A. (Clean)

3. Grip Grand — D.O.A. Instrumental

4. Grip Grand — D.O.A. Acappella (Clean)

5. Grip Grand — D.O.A. Acappella (Dirty)

Now available from better imaginary stores everywhere (mostly Bandcamp and iTunes), may I officially present the Grip Grand “D.O.A.” Maxisingle! Totally unrelated to the Jay-Z song of the same name, D.O.A. (recently featured on the Rec-League “Season 2″ compilation) is a classic winter-thru-summer jam combining pointed punchlines and sly social commentary with a catchy little-kid chorus. It also happens to be one of the most poorly timed releases ever. But that’s how it goes…great minds think alike. I recorded this shit before Jay’s was released (you’ll just have to trust me), but since his version came out first, I lose…or maybe I would lose either way. Typical. Try to forget all that while you enjoy a tall glass of lemonade alongside the equally refreshing sounds of Grip Grand, aka myself. If you decide to try your hand at a remix, give me a shout (facebook.com/gripgrand or myspace.com/gripgrand or gripgrand.com…you get the picture). If you decide to just bump the instrumental, I won’t be mad at you. If you decide you want nothing to do with me, why don’t you just keep it to yourself, pal? Thanks a million. Whatever you do, I hope you’ll give this track a try. It could be your new favorite song! How do you know it’s not? What are you, psychic?

Best wishes from sunny California,

Grip Grand

GRIP GRAND EPIC T-SHIRT FAIL!

So, you know how some things look better on paper? Well, the new Grip Grand shirts are back from the printers. The good news is, these shirts are guaranteed to make people stop and stare in the street! The bad news is, they’ll be staring at your crotch.

See, there’ve been some alterations to the design. As it turns out, the printer I hired couldn’t silkscreen the design at its original width, so he had to move the hands a few inches closer together. And what do you get when you move the hands a few inches closer together? You get the outline of a not-insubstantial phallus, one which is clearly about to be punched. Hard. By a big red monster. Hmmmm…maybe I should have thought this whole thing through a little better (see illustration below).

Seriously?

Anyway, I’m not blaming the eminent unwearability of these shirts on the printer–the hands would’ve looked weird creeping out of your waistband, even if they were a few inches farther apart. And I’m not blaming the designer, because the shirts looked great on paper. I blame only myself. Next time I’ll prototype my products before I get ‘em manufactured.

So what does all this mean for you? If you were one of the kind souls hoping to have your hands on a Grip Grand shirt in the near future, you may be changing your mind right about now. I couldn’t even get a real person to put one on, hence the mock-up you see above. Sure, these shirts are perfect for people who like to be asked “Is there a monster in your pants?” ten times a day, as well as for fans of collectible errors/misprints, Marvel Comic’s Red Hulk, and/or aggressive ball-punchery. But I’m not certain I want my name to be associated with any of these things (the Grip Grand logo is on the back, small and tidy just below the collar), so I’m still on the fence about selling them. Hell, I’m on the fence about giving them away. The best suggestion I’ve had so far is that I should donate them to the homeless, thereby creating the ultimate Brokeland street team. The ethical implications of this option are still being weighed.

OK, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Let me know your thoughts on how I should go about getting an ass-load of failed t-shirts off my hands. Ideally I’d make back what I spent on ‘em, but you’d have to be a pretty avid Grip supporter to sink your hard-earned funds into these (admittedly rare and hard-to-find) groin-grapplers. On the other hand, maybe you want to look like a walking psych-evaluation. In which case, have I got the shirt for you!

Until next time, I’ll be awaiting your advice.

Happy New Year,

Grip Grand

PS–If you really wanna buy one of these things, let your voice be heard…I’ll find a way to make it happen. But consider yourself warned.

In case my recent video “freestyle” over the Popular Demand beat just wasn’t enough for you, here’s some downloadable audio, newly recorded at the Bum Shelter.

Grip Grand — Popular Demand Freestyle (Studio Mix)

FREE Download HERE

Enjoy,

Grip Grand

PS: Haven’t seen the video yet? Look HERE

This video is for everyone who thinks Grip Grand is a disembodied voice in a box and not an actual person. To prove my existence, I filmed myself rapping. And to show you that this isn’t all computer-generated trickery, I did it from the least flattering angle possible. If I were some kind of cyberbot, I would have way fewer chins. So enjoy your behind-the-scenes glimpse into my rap life–this shit is more rare than a Bigfoot sighting.

Live and direct,

Grip Grand

Sometimes, you can’t be sure an idea will work until you do a demo. Thus, the video you see before you. The jury’s still out on whether it’ll work or not. But clearly it would have to be redone, as the current version just won’t do. I couldn’t even remember the words to my own song! I guess we all make mistakes. So why am I passing this possibly-failed experiment on to you? Because that’s the price you pay for following my so-called career, sucker. Thought you’d be used to it by now…

[Download after the jump!]

If you wanna download the audio, here it is:

Grip Grand–96 Tears (Showstopper Mix)

(Right-click link and “save as” to download, rookie)

Or maybe the video is making you dizzy and you just wanna hear the song?

Have it your way.

Alright then, my friends. Until I can get an HD camera and redo this thing the right way, enjoy/abhor the demo!

I know you seen me on the video,

Grip Grand

Goin’ through some old CDs last night, I stumbled upon this little gem. The Desert Dwellas, straight outta Vegas, released The Killa Fish Prauject roughly a decade ago. I bought it on the strength of a review I read somewhere, back when people used to do things like buy CDs by artists they’d never heard of. I’m glad I did. (Songs after the jump)

DESERT DWELLAS–THE KILLA FISH PRAUJECT

Pain From Memory Lane

Stick It To ‘Em

Lost Episodes  

Shadow Returns

A few of these songs really got stuck in my head, eventually making it on to the mix-cassettes I used to send to my music-starved compatriots back in the day (before the internet ruined everything). This album was produced by Head Stimulata Productions, who are still going strong in LV, and it’s their work I wanna highlight here. Basically, if I like your beat, I like your song…and I liked these beats a lot. I hope you will, too.

Make an enjoyful noise,

Grip Grand

PS–If anyone stumbles across the sample from Lost Episodes, lemme know. I’d love to hear it, that shit is so tight…

GRIP GRAND — BEAUTIFUL GIRL

(right-click and “save as” to download) 

Beautiful Girl fell off the map sometime in the first half of the double-oh decade. It was the second Brokelore reject (after Broakland Now, see earlier post), so maybe I already played this for you in 2003. Like I care…

The sample is from a song called Beautiful World by Robin Thicke (then known simply as Thicke). His debut album (also called Beautiful World) doesn’t contain the tune in question, but it was on the advance copy I copped at my local record shop. That’s all the invitation I need. So I hooked it up, threw on the 9th-Wonder-ass snare, and gave it my best Slick Rick impression. I hope you like it. Oh, yeah…this is a love story.

XXOO,

Grip Grand

Grip Grand — This Is

(To download, right-click and “save as”…)

This is…not much of a song. (Zing!) I recorded it a few years back, fast and dirty. Two unrelated verses, two beats, no hook, and a strange, wholly irrelevant intro…sounds like a hit! Named after the first two words of each verse, “This Is” was never intended to be more than a way to store these verses and beats in the vault for posterity. And yet here I am, showing it to people indiscriminately (wink wink). Whatever. I’m bored.

Enjoy,

Grip Grand

Grip Grand – My Government’s a Terrorist

Here’s a deep cut from the vaults (as they say). This unusual piece, produced by DJ Flip & Freezemaster Slick, was done about two years ago, before my man Obama took office. But a lot of it is still true, don’t fool yourself. This type of political diatribe isn’t my regular lane, but at the time it was hard not to get heated about world affairs. Frankly, it still is. So add me to your list of rappers to invite to the rally, right after Immortal Technique, Dead Prez, and Paris. I’ll bring the chronic, you bring the kegs. Of gunpowder.

Fight the power,

Grip Grand

Grip Grand — A New Drug (Work in Progress) Download

A little something different that I’m still working on…hence the title. Score and rhythmic American poetry by me.

Good morning,

Grip Grand

PS–Now downloadable for FREE! Get yours.